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Amanda

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*Write* *Delete* *Write* [Oct. 3rd, 2009|01:18 am]
[mood | annoyed]
[music |"Lamento Erico"- Rhapsody]

Hrm, let's see.

Zombieland rocks. Go see it. I went out with the guys to watch it, all of us were laughing our asses off. Fun!




I realize that I can't really rant about work much when I have to omit so much. Needless to say its been bothersome and tedious, but I do still enjoy it. Love my job, hate the stress. Stupid keep your mouth shut clauses.

Other than that, working on a new costume project, yay fabrics! Its getting late (not really) and I'm growing bored and frustrated with writing and deleting. So I'm out of here for now, take care all.
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Lawyers..evil.. [Sep. 29th, 2009|10:35 pm]
So I've been doing some research. I have a few friends in the law field and after some talking, I have one who works for a local law office and his boss is willing to help me get my divorce papers in order. Yay. Seems the ones I have won't fly and are loopy. But that's fine, I should be able to save up the money to hire a real lawyer soon. The job I have pays well, so if I put away for a few months, I should be able to do it.

Other than dealing with that on my day off, I spent some time playing Pathfinder and relaxing. It wasn't a bad day, just busier than I wanted it to be for a day off.
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Day off! [Sep. 29th, 2009|12:20 pm]
[mood | hungry]
[music |"Gethsemane" - Nightwish]

Oh does it feel good. A day off! Well, its been 7 days since my last day off (*laughs*) so I had to be given the day off. Something about the law and over double time and panic on my boss' face when it came to light today would have been day 7. Have to say, it was fun to watch for all of five minutes.

So what am I going to do on my day off. Well, let's see. I have some costuming I need to do for my Invictus character. I'm creating a set of hair ornaments to wear in her hair. Little chopstick looking things with bells at the end, painted in blue and silver. I do need to work on my Pathfinder character, we start playing that tonight. Hrm, other than that, I'm going to try to do as little as possible. I'm tired.

We are having our first chilly day this year. I was surprised to step outside and see its grey and cold. This is California, not Massachusetts. And yesterday was hot and clear. But Jay says its fall now, we are going into rainy season. Which could be good. I miss the rain, not the cold, but the rain would be nice.

Well, its getting lunch/breakfast/any meal I can get my hands on time, so I'm out. Everyone else enjoy your day, even if its not your day off.
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I shouldn't be alone this late at night.. [Sep. 26th, 2009|11:41 pm]
[Tags|]
[mood | drunk]
[music |"No Dream Can Heal A Broken Heart" - Sonata Arctica]

With Jay out of town tonight (thanks goes to my boss for fucking me out of the time to go with him, I won't be forgetting this anytime soon), I'm left to a bottle of whiskey and a blank piece of paper. Idly, I let my mind wander as the music played, the alcohol dancing in my thoughts. This is what came forth. Perhaps it make no sense to anyone else, but he and I will know... (By the way, song is "No Dream Can Heal A Broken Heart" by Sonata Arctica. Look it up, listen to it. Now!)


My dream, it seems, fails to see the mornings
My one and only aim
I hear you breathe, I'm not alone in the darkness
I feel something on my lips I should not


Silver eyes opening to the darkness, the exhale of a held breath, the silent wetness of a single tear. Reaching up, she brushes the drop away, amazed and entranced that she can still cry at all. After many years, would not the tears dry up? Again, the exhale of breath, softly filtering in, the sound of a heart beat, the warmth of another. Rising gently, she looks beside her, another drop running down her cheek, the sight of golden hair and broad shoulders making her shiver and feel feverish...


One, too many poison kisses
And I'm drowning in your deepest see
I found my destiny, something I'm here for
I'm knocking on my heaven's door


Delirious. Euphoric. Hands on her skin, arms holding her close, breath on the back of her neck. For a moment of his pleasure, she would give her soul. Gladly she could pass from this life to oblivion if its last seconds would be spent like this, embraced and held. Was this everything she searched for? Soft lips on her shoulder, the promise of eternal love whispered in her ear...

One day we will run out of tomorrows
And yesterday's become the stuff our dreams are made of

Until today, I lived in the shadow world
Now heart is speaking, brain's defeated
Independent thought deleted...


Dizzy. Arms that held her gently now turning to a choking prison. Clawing and screaming, she howls out her pain and suffering, knowing no god would ever answer her cries. Why would they, but in her misery she was addicted. Sickened she realizes her pleas are not of release, but a pathetic begging for more. Let go and surrender, give it all away...


One too many poisoned kisses...
And I'm drowning in your deepest sea
I found my destiny, something I'm here for...
I'm knockin' on my heaven's door.

And the map to find my sleeping wishes
Is hidden where I cannot see
When I'm awake, I need your poison kisses
To fall back in a living dream...


Gasping, silver eyes wide in the darkness, nails clenched tightly in the covers. Dreams and waking, all a tangle sheets and clothing. What was real, what was sleeping? Broad shoulders and golden hair, the warmth of another. Faintly remembered screams and shivers of forbidden desires. Hers or His? Oh gods, did she taint everything she touched. Golden eyes opening, meeting her silver, matched yet so different in the dark..

"Why do you fear to long for my love, please be strong.
If your heart can hear a song, you can't go wrong...
So repose your trust in me, save this love, live and see
If the life beyond this dream is what you seek..."

"Fill your deepest wishes,
Come take my poison kisses
Life is too short, this golden hour lasts for a lifetime..."



Her lips soft on his, cutting off any questions he might have. Both can feel it, a change falling over them. Her darkness and his light. As they embrace, the two opposites meet, a lingering mark left on both. How can the pure touch the corrputed and not come away scarred? How can the dark look into the light and not realize its emptiness? She was losing who she was, becoming more like him, but did that mean..

Give me your poison kiss,
Now, come night, I need my sleeping wish
Help me dream again, somehow kiss me now


His touch is colder, yet hungry. Desire in his breath, his words once warm honey, now wash over her like iced water. A shiver down her back, the twisting in her heart. Silver fading to grey, grey brightening to light. Gold dimming down to cold silver, looking back at each other, seeing what they once were. How could she destroy him?! Dear gods, what had she done. His eyes now of silver filled with amusement, watching her mourn, watching her turn and beg, meeting her eyes of gold.


With your poisoned lips
Oh, come night, I want my missing wish
Help me get one kiss, somehow
Hold me now

No dream can heal a broken heart...
When we're apart...

...On the sea of wishes
My dream that no one misses
Tears me apart, always, somehow
Goodbye love...



Golden eyes wide in the dark, the soft wetness of a single tear. Reaching out to touch his golden hair, shivering at the silver stare. Softly, words whispered, his lips pulled back in a smirk. One does not embrace the light and come away blind. Pulling close for a kiss, she gasps, letting go to him. The exhale of her breath, the drum of their hearts. Poison, corruption, salvation and damnation. The tangle of sheets and the muttered prayer. Silver and gold..
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Hrm, a real entry.. [Sep. 14th, 2009|12:57 am]
[music |"Flag in the Ground" - Sonata Arctica]

So I've been told to do a real entry, so I guess that's what I shall have to do. *grins*

Let's see, where to start. The basics.

I'm doing well, I spend a lot of time working. Its an interesting job and rewarding. I teach adults with disabilities kitchen skills. I can't go much more into than that. (Confidentiality stuffs.) Been doing it for awhile now, yet haven't grown bored of it. Just wished there were more people qualified/willing to devote themselves to such work, we are so short staffed. With only three of us running my little kitchen, days off are few and far between, but much appreciated.

Let's see, what else. Oh, still Larping. In fact, had the Modesto Vampire game yesterday night. Yay hosting the games at my place, I don't have to go anywhere and once its done, I can crash on my own living room floor if I so choose. The game went well, the introduction of my new Carthian, Denny. The costume was a hit (If I could find a place to host pics online, I will try to get some pics of my work up for people to see.) And she managed to creep the others out, score for the Nosferatu. Managed to get myself elected Nosferatu representative to the Carthian council on my first night. Again, score. Not sure what to do with it yet, but for now I'll run with it.

Next week is the Stockton game, where I play Lady Amber Mei Graves, Invictus Mehket and Oracle to the Prince of Stockton. Also happen to be Seneschal of the City, not bad. Too bad playing Invictus is a sometimes a string of never ending vampire tea parties. Until someone steps out of line, then its just fun.

After that its the Changeling game. Fun game there. Retired my Winter Queen a few games back (Jay became the Storyteller and I decided to start over with his new take on the current plot and let the new players have a shot at Monarch). Playing a Flowering Fairest of Spring Court. A jealous bit of fluff and whimsical nature she is, but its shaping up to be a interesting time. So far she's only one to catch on the Summer King was kidnapped, still hasn't decided to spell it out for the others yet.

Then finally comes Hunter. Only a troupe game, but still fun none the less. I'm playing a Network Zero kid by the name of "Peepers". Got permission for the ST of the game to pick up telekinesis from the Second Sight book. So far its been a blast with her staying outside of combat and just throwing chairs and other objects under enemy feet so they "accidentally" trip at important moments.


Other than game stuff, things are busy around here, people in and out all the time. We've become the local hang out. Its not bad, I don't have to leave my house to find things to do, it shows up here on its own. I'm watching Jay play with our kitten Torment while trying to play the new Batman game. Torment is a cute little white fluff ball intent on making sure our every waking moment is spent pampering him. Pretty much your typical cat. (At this point Jay wants me to mention he is the super cool awesome pimpsauce. Not sure why, but hey, why not!)

Alright, its late. I'll continue post more often (as time allows). Figure I'll keep up with this thing if I can. Nice to keep a record.
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For fun and mind rotting pleasure [Apr. 8th, 2009|10:22 am]
http://minadove.mybrute.com



Go here, level me up, make one of your own and beat people up. Simple. Fun.
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My Valentine Postbox [Feb. 12th, 2008|03:10 pm]
[Tags|]

my valentine postbox )
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Blizzard..WTF...why... [Oct. 24th, 2006|01:03 pm]
[mood | Yeah, a WoW geek moment]
[music |My husband snoring]

January..

Why..

And after half my damn friends got into the Beta and are showing off screenies..



Why..


Blizzard why do you hate me so. First my druid is sentenced to become a Tree! And now..now..

.....*sighs*


*Shoves her moose horns back on and heads off to BWL*

At least I can raid a bit more before the expanssion..
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I got married. [Oct. 20th, 2006|09:41 am]
*Peeks her head out of nowhere*

I got married!

I'm sure you read about it now in my little bro's LJ and probably in others as well. But yes, the ceremony was short and very sweet. The day was perfect in every way. I had alot of fun. There was alot of food. Alot of alcohol. Alot of everything really.

It was everything I could have wished for in a wedding. And me and my husband just got back off our honeymoon. It was great bit of fun..and time alone. With all the wedding stuff I haven't had any time alone with him for awhile. Never understood that about weddings. A ceremony to join two people..yet for two months before everyone tries all they can to keep the two so busy they can't see each other. ^.^

Hey, I'm allowed to complain now little bro, its all over with.

Other than that, live goes as it always go. Me and Nate are looking to move in a bit. Just puttering around with my writting..actually talking to someone on and off about getting it published...would be nice. Life is good.
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Doctors.. [Apr. 4th, 2006|09:32 am]
Ok..I'm off to the docs office..will give you a call when I get back. Shouldn't be too long..just the basics today, talking over treatement and finding a specialist to go to. I hope you were right when you said that therepy is an option. But if not..bleh.

For everyone else, I'm off to the docs. I have been having problems with my hand and wrist for awhile now and have lost the ability to really do much with my right hand. The doctor says its carpel tunnel. Big shock huh...*laughs* Between my job and my time spent on the computer, plus my painting and writing..but we will see how it goes. I'm not too worried.
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"Me not the kind of Orc" [Feb. 17th, 2006|09:24 am]
[mood | awake]

Werk Werk..


*grins*

Anyways ..off to another happy fun day at work. Acutally..I like my job, its not all that bad and both me and Nate get to play in the kitchen together. Much fun!

More fun news..tomorrow may be my first day off...here's hoping I don't get called in..

Off I go!
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annnnnddddd...busy again [Feb. 13th, 2006|10:43 pm]
[mood | But happy anyways]

*falls down tiredly*

For those trying to get ahold of me..I fell off the face of the earth for a bit...between trying to get things ready for the move, job hunting..getting a job..working, trying to have something of a social life and playing WoW ((so very little now..)) And my upcoming trip next week to Wyoming so I can house hunt...gha...*cries*

*halt*

One thing at a time. Yes I am working again..back in the kitchen slaving away. Its not bad though..could have done without the double on my first day of work..but meh. Money is gooooooooood.

Secondly, I'm running my hind end off planning for this move coming up, packing and trying to figure out things. Next week I will be flying out to Wyoming to house hunt and check out the area. I am very nervous about this..but..it needs to be done and Nate can't get the time off. So I'm going to have to suck it up and go out and do this.

Also speaking of planning..sorta trying to plan my wedding..its less than a year away..Oi..I need to work on that more. But..I could use Nate's help...*goes to find her fiance*

*looks at the time* And I have work at 8 am..*cries*

Alright off to bed with me..like I said..you are trying to get ahold of me..and I know there are a few people who are..please..keep trying and work and life willing I will catch you.

Also..I'm writting again.
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At least Nate was happy [Dec. 6th, 2005|10:57 am]
[mood | amused]

Dear Santa...

Dear Santa,

This year I've been busy!

In August I put gum in [info]merufina's hair (-12 points). Last Tuesday I punched [info]saichen in the arm (-10 points). In May I put money in [info]silentrogue47's expired parking meter (14 points). In July I ruled Asscrackistan as a kind and benevolent dictator (700 points). Last week I bought porn for [info]believe2000 (-10 points).

Overall, I've been nice (682 points). For Christmas I deserve an Easy-Bake Oven!

Sincerely,
Am_chan

Write your letter to Santa! Enter your LJ username:
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*ahem* [Dec. 2nd, 2005|01:57 am]
This is an "Oh Sh@T" Moment brought to you by Lord Kazzak...

Have a nice day..

http://massdestraction.com/1216-WOW_Lord_Kazzak_does_Stromwind.html
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Interesting... [Dec. 1st, 2005|01:27 pm]
[mood | sleepy]
[music |My heater..yay warmth]

Your Birthdate: January 18

You are a cohesive force - able to bring many people together for a common cause.
You tend to excel in work situations, but you also facilitate a lot of social gatherings too.
Beyond being a good leader, you are good at inspiring others.
You also keep your powerful emotions in check - you know when to emote and when to repress.

Your strength: Emotional maturity beyond your years

Your weakness: Wearing yourself down with too many responsibilities

Your power color: Crimson red

Your power symbol: Snowflake

Your power month: September





Snow?...but I don't even like the sound of it!
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Days [Oct. 20th, 2005|12:24 am]
So..I'm resting still. Spending alot of time thinking while resting. Not much else to do really. I'm stuck on a couch. Hopes..what I have planned for the future. This move to Wymoing with be a life changer for me and Nate. So many things we have planned. A friend waiting for us there to help us get started. A chance to start all over again. This time with more oppertunities. Love..those I love and hold close, those I care for. Friends, family, Nate...all those who I care for. I've met so many people..what does the future hold in store. Also friends who I've lost contact with. I'm in hidding again. I seem to go in hidding when I get scared of something. I shouldn't...what do I have to fear really? I've many who would protect me. I dunno..but I've been in hidding since early this year. Some people say its because I've found new things...but...they are wrong. The ones who truely know me..know why I'm missing. Everytime I think of coming out..I hear about what I'm hidding from. The fighting, the arguing, the anger...makes me want to stay away. *shrugs* Can't always hide..I know. *yawns* I am getting tired ...I should stop letting my mind wander when i'm on pain meds...but...its about the only time I let my guard down enough to really talk. Hmm..who knows. *yawns*

Also..message time.

Dragon heard you howl Elder Wolf and was pleased. It brought a smile to Dragon's face. Dragon knows you listen. Lion watches over Dragon. Lion and Dragon miss Elder Wolf. Dragon wants to know if Elder Wolf is near? If Elder Wolf is..Dragon will look for a sign. Lion stands by now. Where is Elder Wolf.
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Resting [Oct. 16th, 2005|01:45 am]
I resting well tonight..still in alot of pain. My knee heals..just slowly. Until it does..I'm obeying Nate and my other keepers. *grins*

And now to pass on a message.

Dragon grows tired and is resting but misses Elder Wolf and Lion. Dragon is waiting for Elder Wolf to howl again. It would make Dragon smile.


To those mentioned..there is your message..I'm passing it on.
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Unamed posters.. [Oct. 8th, 2005|10:24 am]
[mood | hungry]

Looking back at my last entry it seems the unmaed poster has struck me a few times also. Umm..whoever you might be..please..step up and tell me. I'm just a tad bit curious on who you are..

As to everyone else..I'm doing well. I'm having to take it easy right now..popped my knee out of joint again. Painful but nothing major. So I'm taking a few days and leting it heal. Other than that..doing a bit of writting for my guild in WoW and they love it. Makes me smile.

Hmm..should wander off and find food now..see you all later.
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Today [Oct. 4th, 2005|01:24 pm]
[mood | busy]

Well..lets see. Today..what have I done. In a fit of frenized cleaning I ripped apart my computer room and put it back together one part at a time. I'm happy with the new look..but..its really not that much of a change from the old one. Well....I feel like I accomplished something anyways. *shrugs* Other than that..small cleaning and packing around the house. Yeah..not that exciting..*laughs* But for now..its what I'm doing... What am I doing you ask?

Well for now I'm looking for a job..but with my very picky requirements now..its taking awhile. But not that me or Nate minds. We chose my very picky requirements for a reason. I need a job close by who will pay enough to make it worth the gas and time it will take for Nate to get me to work. Also I would like part time to semi full time hours..no more than 30 hours a work. I'm also looking for a nice comfy office job of some sort. Taking time off of the kitchen...just not worth it around here. Why so picky..well...cause I can. Why the little hours..well you see a long time ago me and Nate made a deal with each others. Whoever had the better job would work full time and the other person would become the house bitch. Well..the time of that agreement is up..and Nate has the better job. So I'm the one staying home and taking care of the house, paying the bills and all of that stuff. And I have to say...I like it. And Nate is happy. I agree with him though..it is nice to have a clean house, food cooked to eat and not have to kill ourselves on a day off to get all of it done. Now if I happen to get a really sweet job..will I go back to full time..Hell yeah..in a heart beat. Will both of us miss having the nice perks of having a stay at home caretaker..yes..but still..its a give and take.

Also though..this has given me a chance to pick up my writting even more so. And with the encouragement from the Knights, elder wolf and a few others...I will get this book written. *grins* Thanks for the poking guys.

Well..other than that..really not much to say..or..well not much that I will say here. There is alot to say..on many many topics..just this isn't where I want to talk on them. *grins* I'm around..you know how to reach me..come find me and we shall talk.

Until then..I'm heading to play WoW and talk with a few Knights. Makes things fun you know.
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Dreams [Oct. 4th, 2005|01:35 am]
[mood | still amused]

Oh..yeah..side note.

Tonight I dream of dragons, elder pack wolves and a lion. To those who know what that means..rest well and you are with me.




For everyone else..I like being cryptic. But its a good thing.
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